Confessions of a wandering mind

As I have become a loner over the years, I started analyzing people around me, their interactions with not just me but everyone else. The one thing I realized is that people do not even try to build any sort of relationship, whether it is just being an acquaintance or building friendships  or actually making it a long term relationship. The first interaction itself is about judging if they are going to get some benefit out of talking to me or not.  I usually am not that social, but if someone tries to talk to me, I make an effort to get to know them, be friends with them, without expecting anything back from them. Maybe that's not true. I at least hope that they reciprocate by saying hello or checking in on me once in a while, if not do something special for me. But nothing more than that. This is something new for me. When I talked to my therapist, I was discussing my interaction with someone and how it kinds affects me when I get ignored though there is no agreement of any...

Starting this blog based on my therapist's suggestion, and this topic felt relevant. I wanted to title it "Fear of Rejection" but I also wanted to start with a positive tone. How many times did you not try something because you are afraid of failing ? How many times did you try to please your family and friends, because you are afraid of losing them? How many times did you put up with people disrespecting you or not treating you right, at work or in some social circles because you are too afraid of making a bad impression on someone?  Then you know what I mean. Your brain is trained to always please people around you that you prioritize everyone else but yourself. You become critical of yourself when you fail to achieve that goal,  be hard on yourself and put yourself down. When I was a kid, I worked hard to always remain in that first rank, because it was important for my parents. When I came to Masters, I got a reality check, with selfishness and jealousies. In ...