Is straightforwardness a bad trait ?
I was told while growing up that being honest and straightforward is a great quality. But over time I realized it is not something everyone likes or prefers. The reason why I bring it up now is because a close friend of mine was visiting me over the weekend and brought it up. She mentioned, no one would want to be friends with me, because I am always straight forward and people don't like it. She became friends with me, after being my hostel mate for 4 years and actually getting to know me at a deeper level. Since then I have been thinking about it, and I agree she is right.
I can't hide a thing even if I wanted. Even if I am quiet, my face will reveal it. So eventually I speak up. Over the years, I have become a silent listener than a talker, and in some ways it helped me I guess. Don't open my mouth and hence there are less problems right? I have reached a point where I do not really care if I have friends or not, as I am getting used to live my life alone without any friends to talk to. So it has not been a problem that I would worry about.
But the one area that matters is in finding a guy. How would any guy ever like me, given that they don't even take the time to get to know me and start judging me in the 1 or 2 conversations I have with them. I know I give the vibe that I am somehow arrogant because of the same reason. Even if I open up with a guy, it only leads to more problems as guys tend to start ignoring me or shutting me down, so I only am left hurt at the end of it all. So why am I even trying right? I am old enough to realize I am never going to find a guy who is patient enough to put in time to get to know me, but it is hard for me to accept that fact and I still keep trying to make friends, find a partner etc. I have debated if I should change myself, but if I couldn't change in so many years, how will I change now?
I can't hide a thing even if I wanted. Even if I am quiet, my face will reveal it. So eventually I speak up. Over the years, I have become a silent listener than a talker, and in some ways it helped me I guess. Don't open my mouth and hence there are less problems right? I have reached a point where I do not really care if I have friends or not, as I am getting used to live my life alone without any friends to talk to. So it has not been a problem that I would worry about.
But the one area that matters is in finding a guy. How would any guy ever like me, given that they don't even take the time to get to know me and start judging me in the 1 or 2 conversations I have with them. I know I give the vibe that I am somehow arrogant because of the same reason. Even if I open up with a guy, it only leads to more problems as guys tend to start ignoring me or shutting me down, so I only am left hurt at the end of it all. So why am I even trying right? I am old enough to realize I am never going to find a guy who is patient enough to put in time to get to know me, but it is hard for me to accept that fact and I still keep trying to make friends, find a partner etc. I have debated if I should change myself, but if I couldn't change in so many years, how will I change now?
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