Everybody has some advice for you
These days, I am noticing that wherever I go, everyone seems to want to give me free advice. "You should stop doing that, saying this". "You should do this, say that, act like this, behave like that" etc. etc. etc. At least in the past one month, I found every single person I met, or talk to, had some advice to share. It made me stop and think. Wait, why am I getting this barrage of advice from everyone.
After some inward looking and analysis of self, I realized it is because of the fact that I have been openly talking to people about how I have been going through depression and going for counseling for the past year or so and that I am slowly feeling better. There it started, you don't know how to pick your friends, you don't know what to say to who, you don't know who to keep friendships, and you need to stop talking like this, start doing this, etc. etc. Then I asked myself, If I were to go back and redo it, would I do it any differently? Maybe not, because I don't know any other way. I cannot manipulate people, or only indulge to certain extent and not fully invest into a relationship or just look for my selfish motives etc. I am not made that way, for good or bad, God gave me empathy and however hard I try, I can't just think about myself, I keep thinking about other person too. Yes, it makes it hard to say no because of that sometimes, and I invest into a relationship until I get hurt. I am that person who puts in 100% into anything I do, so how can I invest only some % into any relation? I made many friends to start with, when I moved here and I had a whole lot of energy and enthusiasm to actually invite people home, cook for them and entertain them, plan events etc. But most of them only stayed as long as they had some benefit out of it, and eventually left. How is it my problem if they didn't choose to stay in my life?
One may say, it is never too late to change, when you know its not working etc. I partly agree, maybe I will train to be more polished, more diplomatic, but would I change who I am as a person? Maybe not. This is what makes me, me. No one else can take my place, can they? When you are in a low phase, it gives everyone around you a right to speak ill of you, give you free advice and loads of it. Of course, there is some good advice in that too, there is no denying that, like travel more, focus on yourself etc. that shows maturity. Bottom line, this year, I focus on myself, my happiness, traveling more, laughing more, working out more.
After some inward looking and analysis of self, I realized it is because of the fact that I have been openly talking to people about how I have been going through depression and going for counseling for the past year or so and that I am slowly feeling better. There it started, you don't know how to pick your friends, you don't know what to say to who, you don't know who to keep friendships, and you need to stop talking like this, start doing this, etc. etc. Then I asked myself, If I were to go back and redo it, would I do it any differently? Maybe not, because I don't know any other way. I cannot manipulate people, or only indulge to certain extent and not fully invest into a relationship or just look for my selfish motives etc. I am not made that way, for good or bad, God gave me empathy and however hard I try, I can't just think about myself, I keep thinking about other person too. Yes, it makes it hard to say no because of that sometimes, and I invest into a relationship until I get hurt. I am that person who puts in 100% into anything I do, so how can I invest only some % into any relation? I made many friends to start with, when I moved here and I had a whole lot of energy and enthusiasm to actually invite people home, cook for them and entertain them, plan events etc. But most of them only stayed as long as they had some benefit out of it, and eventually left. How is it my problem if they didn't choose to stay in my life?
One may say, it is never too late to change, when you know its not working etc. I partly agree, maybe I will train to be more polished, more diplomatic, but would I change who I am as a person? Maybe not. This is what makes me, me. No one else can take my place, can they? When you are in a low phase, it gives everyone around you a right to speak ill of you, give you free advice and loads of it. Of course, there is some good advice in that too, there is no denying that, like travel more, focus on yourself etc. that shows maturity. Bottom line, this year, I focus on myself, my happiness, traveling more, laughing more, working out more.
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